Spectator in your own life

This weekend and right now we have a feeling of guarded excitement. I think we all want to be excited about what might happen today or tomorrow, but we don't want to get our hopes up and have them dashed on the rocks of bureaucracy.

We are supposed to find out today what is really happening. Truthfully and humanly speaking it seems like God would allow us to bring this young man into our family, since there is a lot of money out now and if we don't get him much of that money is not coming back, so it seems like a waste of His money, but there is not much humanly going on in this process anyway. I want to be content in whatever God brings and maybe being guardedly optimistic is my way of protecting from disappointment if it doesn't happen. I'm not sure that this is what God would want me to be doing- does that show little faith? Not sure.

Teresa and I, and really many from the church family, have been talking about what will happen if we don't get him and how different his life will be if we are allowed. Does he know what's going on? Does he have any idea about us yet? How hard would it be for him if he does know and God doesn't allow it all to go through? It's coming down to the wire and as usual I don't have any control over much of what is going on, so God will have to work- the great thing is is that He has already worked to start this process and has carried it all the way. I believe that the process we went through over the few working days between Christmas and New Years is listed on our schedule, in normal time, as being 4-5 months- so God got a 4-5 month process done in about 4 days.

There is much to be praying about- and we cherish your prayers- and there is already much to be thankful for. We have learned much and have met some people we would not have met if He had not placed us in this process. What does He want us to learn and what will He do next? It's fun to be a spectator in your own life- something I am not used to being.